The 1st empty room

Today we left Breanna our oldest daughter in Arkansas to attend college at the university of Arkansas in Morilton. She will be living with my parents. Which apparently is a good thing because when everyone hears that they say "oh that is better". My 1st thought usually is "I don't know how that is better I still have an empty bedroom at my house". But I realize that is a completely selfish way to see it. It IS better for Breanna, she is with family, not in a dorm of strangers doing God knows what! She is not with a room mate she has never met and will have to adjust to living with. Her room mates are 2 people she has known her whole life. Now she will get to know them in a totally new way. These are memories and times she will cherish her whole life. She will learn what amazing people my parents are up close and personal. There are no 2 people in the world I trust more to take care of her than my parents. 

But, at the same time, I must bring up the empty bedroom at my house. The room that has always held my first born baby girl now sits empty and echoes with loneliness. As I washed the headboard to the bed we were sending with her I began to think "have I given her all she needs to survive on her own?" Did I hug on her enough? Did I cherish each moment she was in my house enough? Did I teach her how to be nice to others? Did I teach her how to take up for herself? And the balance between the 2? As a mother I have never felt adequate   I'm not a squishy gushy ewwy gooey type mom. A "miss patty cake" (have u seen those videos) kind of a lady. So I always wonder should I be more like that? I have always talked to my kids (and church kids) like they were older than they are. I quit that baby talk stuff pretty quick. Maybe that is wrong. How do you know!! 

Daniel and I have always said "you are gonna scar your kids it's just a matter of when and how bad". So I know I haven't done things perfectly. There are times I have been to harsh and punished her when I should have been gracious, and other times I should have brought the hammer down and I let it slide. 

All I can say for sure is I love that kid with all my heart and would lay down my life for her in and instant. I will miss her living under my roof on a daily basis. I will miss our talks, giggles, inside jokes and kisses good night. But I am anxious to see what God has in store for her. I know she has great things inside of her. She was born for greatness. She has big things in her heart, ready to explode. She has been well planted. Now it's time to bloom. 

Channeling my inner Dortha Dee

This is me and Granny (before I lost 35 lbs)

My Maternal Grandmother, was Dortha Dee Kinslow. She was an amazing woman. She had many amazing talents and skills. She was a mom, grandmother, great-grandmother, a school teacher, a seamstress and many other things.

One of my favorite stories that came to us at her funeral was from the funeral director. Granny  had taught this funeral director when he was young. He told us that one day he was playing at school and ripped his new and expensive coat. He apparently flipped out pretty bad because he knew his mom and dad didn't have a lot of money and was going to be pretty upset he had ruined his new coat. Granny told him not to worry and she would take the coat home and fix it. He said the next day she came back to school with the coat and he couldn't even tell where the rip had been and his parents never knew it happened.  She was very talented when it came to repairs of clothes, and upholstery. I swear she could fix anything made of fabric. 

She could look at things and see how she wanted to make it and then just sit down at sewing machine and come up later with whatever was in her head. Once she sewed a very pretty cover for her mother's handicap toilet, (ya know the kind that looks like a grown up potty chair that sits in the middle of the room). They covered when Momma Nona wasn't using it and it looked like any other chair in the room. People sat in it when they came to visit and never knew what they were sitting on. She didn't have a pattern, just a thought in her head.

Anyway, occasionally I like to try to do the same thing. Please understand, I got 1/16th of granny's abilities.  Granny was very meticulous and detail oriented and I am like a bull in a china closet, I want it done fast! So I don't get the same results she did.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine put this picture on FB of a skirt that she saw in a boutique. It was cute. I thought "I bet I could make that". 

So yesterday I went to the thrift shop down the road, and with  $10 in my pocket, I picked out 4 pairs of jeans and came home with a mission.  

I called mom for a little pre-project consolation, and then got to cutting.  

I cut the legs off the jeans of the size of the
skirt that I wanted, then measured out a
 6 by 6 inch square. Then I cut as many squares
out of the rest of the jeans as
I could, never counted how
 many squares I cut.

I sewed the squares together in a
pattern making a long strip.

Then I sewed them together in strips, then
sewed the strips together to make a "tube".

I sewed the tubes on the top of the jeans. 

The back, I made the slit in the back a little off center,
I thought with all the patches being off center, It
looked better.

I am no, Dortha Dee, but I felt like I did pretty good, with no pattern and never have seen the real skirt in person.  I thought it was fun.  I made this one for my friend that posted the picture. I am going to make one for Breanna now. She said she wants her patches to be more "all over the place". That should be a little more challenging. 

Mommy and Me PKU Days

Mommy and Me- PKU days

I have 3 very individual and wonderful children. I truly enjoy spending time with each one of them. They are funny and intellectual. We have fun as a group, and I really enjoy spending time with each one of them one on one.  With crazy schedules and them getting older, this is becoming harder and harder. But since Keenan has been 2 weeks old, we have had PKU days. Where we go to PKU clinic, this is just where we visit the doctor, they take his blood, monitor his developmental progress, head growth (to make sure his brain is growing) and we discuss diet issues.

When he was 2 weeks old we went to clinic the 1^st time. We then began going once a week until he was 2. Then we went to every other week, till 3 then once a month till 4. When we moved to Louisiana, they only wanted him to come every 6 months. We thought this was crazy, but it was an hour drive vs. the 30 min drive when we lived in Oklahoma so we agreed and just mailed to blood Tulsa.  Then when we moved here to North Carolina, they only needed to see him every 6 months because he was 7 and with this move, it was a 3 hour drive to clinic. On 80% of these visits it has been just me and Keenan. So we get to have got to have some really great Mommy and me days.

Of course when he was little he doesn't remember much about them. I do, we would giggle and play with chalk board in Dr. Coldwell’s office. We would draw his letters on the board when he got older and he would guess them. There were a few times I took a picnic lunch so we could play at the park afterward and eat at the park. When we moved to LA, and had to drive so far, we would pack movies for him to watch in the car on the way there and back. Where we had to see the Dr. was at the state hospital, it was dirty and awful. I was always scared to let him touch any of the toys or books. So I kept him in my lap and we would just play on my phone or just talk.

The North Carolina visits have been the most fun so far, he is older and the hospital we go to is HUGE and has several cool areas. He and I wait for the doctor and have fun and intelligent conversations. We laugh and act silly. Today was the most fun. We spent the wait time laughing about silly stuff and then talked to the dietitian. This part is always a little tough for him. He doesn't like to spend to much time talking about his diet. Then we talked to Dr. Mugay. She is a very cool doctor.  I had drawn a smiley face on Keenan’s belly. She thought that was pretty funny. Then we went to the hospital cafeteria. Keenan likes to eat there, cause there are so many choices. They have some really cool cause and effect ball sculptures there. We love to watch them for a while. Then looked at the doll houses, then played on the escalators. Then we bought some Starbucks coffee, Keenan’s 1^st Starbucks ever. Then we hit the road. Half way between the hospital and our house is a super fun trampoline park in Winston-Salem, and so we made an hour long pit stop to jump for an hour. It was great fun! I love spending time with my little man. We have laughed all day!!  

I know that I only have a few more years of pku days ahead of us. As he gets older he may take himself at some point or heaven forbid, want to take a girlfriend with him instead of his MOTHER!! So I do my best to cherish each and every day that we have just me and him. He is a wonderful boy and I know he will grow up to be an amazing man. And I am so glad God put him in my life.